Holiday brochures and weasely words

Hello! Mark here, your guardian angel for the slippery world of travel brochures...

As summer reaches its height the number of holidaymakers peaks in line with the number returning home disappointed from their annual break. Often the catalogue blurb and accompanying glossy pictures are to blame in that they do not give a fair and accurate representation of the resort or hotel in question. Of course the people selling package holidays are entitled to their rose tinted glasses but for those looking to book it's as well to take them off.

In the same way that school reports (or even job references) can be written in a coded language, brochures can likewise contain some pretty weasily phrasing. For the benefit of the (w)easily led I have plucked out some choice snippets of brochure speak so you'll know when to be on your guard.

'Heated Pool'

This doesn't signify that the pool is necessarily warm, only that it can be heated.

'Room with Sea-View'

At Fawlty Towers a guest complained about her room on the basis that a tiny patch of blue in the distance couldn't constitute an ocean view. Sadly this weasily practice has not been totally expunged.

'Near the beach'

Two things here: firstly there is no indication given that the sea is suitable for swimming in. Secondly, 'near' is a matter of interpretation – one person's 'near' is another's hard slog.

'Direct Flight'

This only means that you don't have to change planes. On a long haul flight, for example, a stopover may well be on the cards. But technically this is still a direct flight.

All of these phrases are banana skins for the unsuspecting holidaymaker and touch the boundaries of what is legally acceptable without breaking it. Others are still more devious. 'Central location' or 'near the airport' can mean that a holiday is blighted continuously by noise from a nearby building site or planes flying directly overhead.

For this reason it is advisable for those planning a holiday to research their planned destination independently in advance. A practical way of doing this is to make use of online review platforms. These offer an opportunity for people to find out what a resort or hotel really has to offer and typically help holidaymakers book their trip on the basis of these authentic impressions.