The ultimate example of a honeymoon gone haywire is probably the one in the film The Heartbreak Kid (1972), but the young will probably be more acquainted with the remake starring Ben Stiller. But in real life, such disaster honeymoons are not rare, as the following stories testify . . .
Like a fish out of water
A young couple was staying at a hotel with a large swimming pool. They decided to go for a swim, and the bride tried on the new bikini she had recently purchased. As she swam and splashed around in the pool, she soon discovered that her bikini was too large, and it kept coming off. But being the only ones in the pool, she and her husband laughed and playfully retrieved the bikini from the pool's bottom.
That same evening they dressed for dinner and headed to their hotel's elegant restaurant, where they were seated next to a huge aquarium. Strangely, the aquarium was devoid of any aquatic life.
When the bride asked their waiter why the aquarium had no fish in it, he smiled broadly and said, "That's not an aquarium...that's the swimming pool!"
The Illegal Tree
A couple got married in December and set off for their honeymoon in Colorado. While driving through a snowstorm their car's exhaust fell off, forcing the groom to get out in the blizzard and attempt to fix it. They continued to drive through a pine forest and felt inspired to stop and cut down their first Christmas tree as newlyweds. They stopped and the groom went to cut a tree. He was walking back with the tree, when suddenly a buffalo ran out of the forest and started chasing him. He threw the tree on the car and started the car as fast as he could. The couple laughed about the incident until, about 100 feet down the road, they spotted a sign that read, "Do not cut the trees. Punishable by a $1,000 fine." They quickly got rid of the tree and continued, only to hear a screeching noise as the brakes failed. By the time their brakes were fixed, they'd given up on their hopes for a honeymoon, and headed back home to Iowa.
This can't be a good sign
Another couple had to stay in an airport hotel the night before leaving for their honeymoon. The bride was half asleep when someone knocked on the door. Her husband went to answer the door and came back quickly to rouse her. She looked up and a cop was there, standing at the foot of their bed. He asked if they knew there was a dead man outside their window (their room was on the ground floor). The newlyweds looked out the window and indeed, there was a body on the ground! The whole night they saw coroners and crime scene photographers. They both thought „this can't be a good sign". They got no sleep that night and left the next morning with the poor guy still there on the ground. When they got got back they found out that he had had a heart attack... God rest his soul.
Water sick!
One couple stayed at an expensive resort near Cancun, Mexico that offered tons of activities and a honeymoon suite package. However, they both got horribly sick shortly after arriving. The bride woke up with such bad stomach aches that she had to remain in the foetal position the entire day. They felt terrible the whole trip and could hardly wait to get home and go to the doctor. While waiting for the bus to the airport they sat down at the bar. That's when the noticed the bar staff washing the glasses out with tap water and no soap - the same water they'd been told not to drink. The realized that every glass and dish they'd used was probably contaminated. When the couple got back to the States, they had to go on medication and were still sick for another week.
The importance of knowing foreign languages
One couple was honeymooning in Spain, enjoying a picnic lunch in a crowded park, when they were mugged by two men with a knife. They stole their money, camera, watches, and wedding rings. When the couple went to the police, her husband tried with his best Spanish to explain that they had been robbed. The groom later realised he'd mixed up his verbs and told the police they had robbed someone by mistake! Needless to say, the police weren't very sympathetic. To make things worse, their hotel in the next city refused to believe they were married because they had passports with different names and no wedding rings, so they were put in a room with twin beds. The final straw was when the Spanish airline placed the bride – who was scared of flying - and the groom in different rows.
A couple living in Arizona was getting married and the groom said he would sort out the honeymoon if the bride would have organized the wedding, promising to amaze her. She was truly amazed when he confessed that their honeymoon would have consisted in a cross-country trip in a van. They would have visited relatives in Florida, loaded some antique furniture at her parents house in New York, and finally visit New Orleans.
After the reception the couple was ready for the adventure, which began with the groom and other friends h stuffing the bride and her cumbersome dress into the van, completely staining it (the dress) with grease.
On their way (it was July), the AC broke and they got a flat tyre, TWICE!
Once in Florida, they were obliged to sleep on separate couches, because the relatives wouldn't let them book a hotel. Next stop: New Orleans, where everything went wrong bacause the groom actually forgot to organise anything! Two days later they were on their way back to Arizona.
The couple broke up after 3 years!
No one can forsee how a honeymoon will turn out. Even if you've organized it in every single detail, bad luck is always round the corner. The overall lesson for a honeymoon disaster is, stay positive and stick it out together. Many people say that they laugh about these things, looking back. Most important, avoid viewing your disastrous honeymoon as a bad omen for your marriage. Beginnings don't always show how it will turn out!
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